The grass is always greener.
I really hate that saying. I hate it because it is true, but at least in Welwyn Garden City the air is always cleaner.
Leaving Bangkok for England was for me my most cathartic experience to date; the sense of release was unreal. I was excited to be leaving The City behind, I was looking forward to all those clichés: friends, family, food, dog etc. I was devastated to be living OJ behind at the same time (giving away my fish a close second), but I knew we were to have a temporary separation. Bangkok and I was to be ETERNAL separation! I do miss Bangkok though.
I am in my 7th month of repatriation, and to follow the analogy, the grass is getting a bit muddy now. I am struggling a little bit, but it is not to say that I yearn for my days living off Sukumvit. I yearn for my independence. I yearn for my year of limbo to be over.
I am without my husband still. I am living with my parents still. I am car-less still. I am also without cash as all my money goes to my savings for as soon as OJ arrives I am going to use my GBPs to get a home with my hubby and reclaim my independence. I don’t miss Bangkok because accommodation is cheaper than in London, nor do I miss Bangkok because I didn’t have a car, where here in the UK I kinda do. If I were single the first thing I would do is find a suitable house share.
One of my best friends I made in Bangkok is now in Japan, just outside of Tokyo in fact. I am uber-jealous of him. Just seeing a picture of a pagoda pop up on my Facebook wall makes me broody for his experiences; travel of teaching, new culture and exploration. None of this is Bangkok beckoning. I did all I wanted there, even in Thailand I saw enough. Khao Yai National Park is a bit rubbish, and that supposedly is one of the more impressive gems. None of this will make me up-sticks again.
My pragmatic view to being back in the UK is all about security, being 33 I couldn’t justify a TEFL teachers lifestyle anymore. I wanted a pension, a career path – I wanted to build a future. (I also wanted 4 seasons, a bit more common sense on the roads and a decent cheese selection in my local supermarket).
The grass is always greener. The green grass I am wistfully stating at are those verdant fields of my past, I wish I could revisit my first month in Bangkok, or Seoul, or my travels to South America and Australia. Today my grass is muddy, but I have boots for that.
Have you also left Bangkok recently? How did it work out for you? Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
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